Why do we hurt?

We have been forced to endure seemingly endless hurt within our life. This hurt appears to come from the aggression, cruelty and terror which has been inflicted upon us in the physical world. However, what if hurt is not derived from the physical? What if the foundation of our hurt could be experienced and resolved within ourself?


The very notion of hurting another to benefit ourself comes from the competitive instinct which was prevalent within our parent’s generation. However this competitive instinct has flawed logic, because when we hurt another we do not help anyone or anything within our life. In fact, when we focus our energy on hurting another we have no energy left for improving our life at all. If we choose to focus our energy on hurting another we inevitably find ourself living a life that is void of happiness and filled with hurt.


There was a Buddhist monk who fled persecution in China. This monk travelled for two years, with his family and friends, searching for a new home. While on this journey the monk was attacked on 16 occasions by the Chinese. During these attacks the monk saw his family and friends die at the hand of the Chinese. When queried by the Dalai Lama about his experience, the monk said “I was in danger.” When the Dalai Lama asked what he was in danger of, the response was simple: “I was in danger of losing compassion for the Chinese.”


When we are feeling love we cannot hurt. We cannot hurt because all of our energy is being utilised to connect. When all of our energy is focused on connecting, there is simply no energy left to hurt. When we have no energy left to hurt we begin to feel love within our life. When we feel love we naturally express this out into the physical world. It is through the open expression of love that we resolve hurt, both within ourself and another, and pave the way to connection and relationship mastery.